Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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