Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
