this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
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To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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