Barsexuality is the new black.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize