Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
