the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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