White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
