can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
