it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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