how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was CRYING into my vagina
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
