Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
