That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were destined to go to rehab together
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize