Are we in a gay sports bar?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's rum buckets o'clock
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
