I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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