Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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