Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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