You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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