Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
