the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
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