I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
