wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
