Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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