At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
