hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
