maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
