wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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