So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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