We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
