if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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