dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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