Don't you send me to vm
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
