arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again