Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud