you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
