woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize