Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize