Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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