I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
