Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
