What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
