You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
