How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
