i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
