Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
