yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
