i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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