Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize