I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
