i think my mom watched the whole time
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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