I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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