Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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