there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
