This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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