I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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