Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
