i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
