when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"