Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now