That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?