D3 body, D1 cock
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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