All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
