...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
